Story of the Day

Oh this is a good one!

A guy in Tampa called 911, not for an emergency, but because he wanted someone to...uhm....talk dirty with. Ah!

He claims that his cell phone ran out of minutes and he was "in the mood", so he called 911--seems logical right?

After calling 911 four times and being hung up on by traumatized 911 operators, police were dispatched to his home and arrested him on charges of making a false 911 call.

I don't EVEN want to know HOW he used his cell phone minutes when he had them!

Read more here

Florida Jams

Story of the Day

An Okeechobee man was convicted earlier this week of murdering his son-in-law after using his weight as a defense.

Edward Ates claimed he was "too fat" to have run up an down a flight of stairs to commit the crime and flee from the crime scene.

How fat was this guy? 288 lbs on a 5' 8" frame...pretty hefty.

Just nearly not as hefty to solidify his argument.

I love Floridiots!

Check out more at Fla. Man Convicted in Fat Defense Trial

PS: Nobody does "too fat" like Eddie Murphy and "The Klumps"!!

Story of the Day

It was announced earlier this week that the largest solar plant in the United States will be in Florida.

Can't say it takes a rocket scientist, or in this case, alternative energy scientist, to put a solar plant in the Sunshine State.

In order to bring attention to this important project, President Obama visited Arcadia today.

It's nice to hear some good, drama-free news coming out of Florida today.

This solar plant is sure to create more jobs all the while helping out the environment!

Read all about it here

Florida Jams

Story of the Day

There's nothing cute and furry about today's story (no matter how hilarious those darn raccoons were in "The Great Outdoors").

A 74 year old woman in Lakeland was attacked by a gang of five raccoons.

Yikes!

It all started when the woman tried get the raccoons to leave her front door.

The raccoons jumped on her, causing the poor old lady to fall down.

Once on the ground, the raccoons continued to attack, causing serious injuries and bite marks all over her little old body.

The sheriff's department is currently looking for those pesky guys.

Find more here, where you can see amateur video of a pack of raccoons that may be the attackers!

Florida Flicks

"Cocoon" (1985) is a wonderful science fiction movie directed by Ron Howard, with a "who's who" of mature actors from the 80s like Don Ameche, Wilford Brimley, and Jessica Tandy.

The movie was filmed in St. Petersburg. There's even a scene in the movie when Hume Cronin's character dances around in a strip mall that has a green Publix bench.

Love Publix!

If you haven't seen the movies, I have two words for you: Brian Dennehy. He brought "sexy back" ALONG time ago.

Story of the Day

In the epic "There Will Be Blood", the main character uses a child as a marketing ploy whilst negotiating for oil.

The following story does not stray to far from this plot line, so we'll call it "There Will Be Idiots".

A woman in Suntree was charged with neglecting her 6 year old son after a tow truck driver told the police she offered to sell her child in exchange for gas money.

Is gas REALLY that expensive in Florida? Me thinks not.

I love this story for it's ridiculousness but I hate it because I feel sorry for the little boy who has a mental case for a mom.

Read more here and check out the video that accompanies the article.

Story of the Day

Thank you Florida for not letting me down! Especially the men and women of law enforcement!

Cops in Lakeland were caught playing a Wii video bowling game during a drug raid.

Who says you can't have fun on the job??

The home that the cops raided had a surveillance camera, and the video clearly shows officers repeatedly stopping on the job to play the video game.

In defense of the cops, maybe they have PS3's at home and wanted to check out what the Wii is like?

Also, was the video game on when the cops raided the house or did they start up the game on their own?

Anyways, read more at Fla. cops caught playing video game during raid

And don't you love that Wii cake??! Hilarious.

FILF

Although born in Tennessee, Megan Fox moved to St. Petersburg when she was ten and spent her adolescence in the sunshine state.

Which probably explains why she's a little on the crazy side! (We like crazy!)

Her new movie "Jennifer's Body" was the 5th highest grossing movie this opening weekend.

I've heard it's a must see from our Floorduh reader, Bobby!

Story of the Day

Why Florida? Why?!!

A group of Floridiots calling themselves "Personhood Florida" are trying to add a new amendment to Florida's Constitution that would make it a crime to take birth control pills in Florida.

They want the constitution to define someone as a "person," regardless of age or health status, "from the beginning of the biological development of that human being."

These people are nutso! They consider taking the pill as a "chemical abortion".

You can read their "reasoning" behind their genius idea here

Ok....hmmm.....so they would rather you get knocked up and THEN get a real abortion??

And would it be a crime to use a condom?

And are they going to take in all of the unwanted babies born because birth control was illegal??

I'm sure this group spends TONS of money trying to promote this stupid amendment, meanwhile thousands of Florida's children who were unwanted are hungry and without any financial assistance.

What would Jesus REALLY do, Florida??

Story of the Day

Anyone for a BK "Anus" burger??

Well, one poor guy who WAS in the mood for some BK probably wish he hadn't been, after being shot 4 times while being parked at a BK drive-thru in Opa-locka last night.

Two scary dudes with AK-47s (wtf!) drove up to the guys car and started firing.

Luckily, the victim was able to drive himself to the hospital.

I wonder if he waited to get his food before driving to the hospital?
Who wants to eat cold fries, right?

According to the article you can read here, this is the second shooting at a BK in the Miami-Dade area in just this week.

No reports on whether the shooters wore red plastic boots and white face paint.

The Bandit out of Rehab

One of our favorite FILF's, Burt Reynold's, just returned home after a stay in a West Palm Beach rehab facility.

He was reportedly found knocked out, covered in blood after a fall and blamed the fall on an addiction to prescription pills.

Apparently Burt started taking painkillers to help with back pain.

Poor Burt! Hope he didn't mess up that beautifully frozen face!

Read more here

Story of the Day

This story came to my attention from my homegirl Katie Jean via another source but I had share!!

Because it involves Bell Shoals Baptist Church, a "megachurch" in our hometown of Brandon!

Bell Shoals sucks big time---they hold "gay conversion" classes and spread lies and hatred, AND high sugar diets.

You see, the church replaced their 10 (yes 10) soda vending machines from Pepsi products to Coke products because

here it comes....

Pepsi "opposes traditional family values".

You know, like the value of being true to yourself, loving thy neighbor, not passing judgment on others, lying, etc.

We need to pray for Bell Shoals Baptist Church---they need our thoughts to save THEM from stupidity.

Read more at Brandon Baptist church pulls plug on Pepsi products

Florida Flicks

"Striptease" (1996) starred Demi Moore as a Miami stripper who gets involved in a ridiculous scheme involving taking down a corrupt congressman (Burt Reynolds), all the while trying to win custody of her daughter from her ex-husband (Robert Patrick AKA the T-1000).

This movie was a BIG deal at the time because Demi earned $12.5 million, which is more than any actress had made at the time.

Guess where Demi learned how to strip dance? In Tampa of course!

I remember seeing this in the theatre with family and it was AWKWARD.

The trailer for the film is disabled on You Tube, so enjoy Demi in this 13 year old clip from Late Night with David Letterman:

Florida or....North Carolina?!

The picture above makes me think of something.....oh yeah STD's!

Which leads us to today's posting.....

Health workers in North Carolina have found that people are willing to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases in exchange for Wal-Mart gift cards.

These are tough times indeed. Scratchy, itchy, burny times.

People infected with syphilis in Forsyth County, NC has more than tripled from those infected just last year.

Experts say that the rise in STD's is in correlation with the bad economy.

So what's Paris' excuse then??

Check out the rest of the story at New tool to fight syphilis? Wal-Mart gift cards

FILF

Jack Kerouac, legendary Beat writer of classic books, such as "On the Road" and "The Subterraneans" spent the later part of his life in beautiful West Coast Florida.

He died at St. Anthony's hospital in St. Petersburg, at the young age of 47, from complications arising from cirrhosis of the liver, a result of heavy drinking his whole life.

Just this past July, a judge in Pinellas County ruled that Jack's will had been forged, thus finally settling financial drama between Jack's relatives.

I read "On the Road" in my early teens and remember it playing like a movie in my head as my eyes moved quickly across the pages.

Read it if you haven't yet.

And PRAY that no one makes a movie about it!

Story of the Day

An alcohol monitoring device being worn by a 17 year old girl from DeFuniak Springs (up in the Panhandle) was set off, by

Wait for it.......

Hairspray!

The judge found that the teen's exposure to hairspray at her hair salon job caused the device to detect alcohol, and thus, went off.

The girl was originally arrested for drunk driving. Her horrible decision to drive drunk caused her to run a stop sign and hit a tree, which tragically killed one of her passengers.

Hairspray triggering an alcohol monitoring device.....thanks DeFuniak Springs! Now I've heard everything.

Read the rest at Judge: Hairspray falsely triggered alcohol-monitoring device

Nick Hogan's Friend Out of the Hospital

John Graziano, who was permanently disabled two years ago after Nick Hogan, Hulk Hogan's son, flipped the car they were in, was released from the hospital today.

Nick Hogan served five months in jail on reckless driving charges and has been sued in civil court by the Graziano family.

Our thoughts and prayers are definitely with John as he recovers from this horrible event.

Read the article from the St. Petersburg Times here

Story of the Day

Scientists in Sarasota are asking boaters to help them look for a robot that has been lost in the Gulf of Mexico.

The robot is named Waldo and was not misplaced; it "mysteriously disappeared".....interesting....

Now instead of just watching out for sharks, now you have to look out for robots!

Find out how much the robot costs at Fla. boaters told to look out for AWOL robot