Story of the Day

According to an incident report in Panama City, deputies responded to a woman who was felt scared after being gifted with a pair of pink panties.

The desperate guy who gifted the underwear is an acquaintance of the woman's boyfriend, and a stalker, according to this woman.

Apparently he visits her at home when her boyfriend is gone, and drops in on her when she's out with girlfriends.

I'm sure if this "stalker" looked like Johnny Depp, no such incident report would exist! Sounds bad, I know, but there is truth in that.

You can read the article at Man's gift of pink panties backfires

PS: I posted some Pink Panther in this entry after feeling like an overweight and bald pervert googling "pink panties"-seriously.

FILF

Although born in Illinois, thousands of tourists (me included) visit the Key West home of Ernest Hemingway every year.

Ernest, the ultimate literary badass, wrote the majority of his life's work in a den built behind the house.

The summer after I graduated high school, a group of friends and I took a road trip to Key West.

When we arrived at the Hemingway home, it had already been closed so we decided to come back the next day.

Little did we know that the next day would be the 40th anniversary of Ernest's suicide (insert Twilight Zone music here).

The trip was good times and we saw the gazillion kitty cats that live at the house, all descendants of Ernest's pets.

Florida or....Ohio?!

I'm so sad this didn't happen in Florida--but at least it did happen in the Florida of the North: Ohio.

You will often find that ridiculous stories you hear on the news often come from Florida...and when they don't, they come from Ohio.

An example, you ask?
The lady who killed her baby in the oven, well that happened in Florida.
The lady who killer her baby in the microwave--that's all Ohio!

So police were questioning a woman regarding a murder case, when a baby squirrel popped out of the woman's cleavage!

No news if the squirrel is her pet.

Definitely not my personal pick for "animal I would keep in my cleavage"....rabies much?!

You've got to watch the hilarious clip below:

If Florida were a movie, it would be

Larry Clark's "Bully" based on the 1993 real life murder of Bobby Kent, which happened in Fort Lauderdale.

Too make a shocking and intriguing story super short, South Florida teens decide to kill the bully in their group.

There is lots of sex, drugs, nudity, violence, and humidity.

Welcome to Florida.

And if you don't know, now you know.

Story of the Day

Two guys in Deltona made a not-so sweet decision when they asked a Volusia County deputy for a ride home.
Turns out these two had been breaking into cars, and the deputy, either suspicious or racist, told the two he'd have to search them before giving them a lift

A) This is a violation of their civil liberties since the cop had no right to search them BUT
B) these guys were stupid enough to ask a cop for a ride when they burgle cars so they probably don't know their rights.

Instead of finding weapons, the cop found cell phones, GPC devices, and Strawberry flavored Pop-Tarts.
Apparently the nine cars that had recently been broken into in that neighborhood were missing the electronics---and the breakfast treats.

I hope those Pop-Tarts were worth the burglary charge guys!

Read more at Pop-Tarts leave Deltona suspects toasted

Don't read any of the comments people left with this article--not all Floridians are ignorant racists--seriously.

On a side note, my mother NEVER bought us crap breakfast food like Pop-Tarts--we ate our crap at night (Ding Dongs and Twinkies with milk--very healthy!!).

Anyways I had never eaten a Pop-Tart until I was about 22, and that's because a friend tricked me at a movie theatre--it was dark and I thought it was candy--and my Pop-Tart cherry was toasted!

Not my thing, those Pop-Tarts. I'll take a Hostess cupcake anyday.

Famous Florida Rivalries

Walt Disney World vs. Universal Studios Orlando

Winner: Walt Disney World! You can't mess with the mouse!

FILF

Although Dave Barry was born in New York, he's been a syndicated columnist with the Miami Herald for many many years.
His hilarious columns even inspired a television show based on his life called "Dave's World". The show ran for four years with Harry Anderson playing Dave.

Dave's end of the year column was always a must-read for me growing up in Florida. He would go through the years' events by month and give his comedic perspective on politics, pop culture, etc.

You can enjoy Dave's columns here